less than 3 weeks to go.
some sleepless nights.
some dreamy nights.

i am really excited.
it's hard to stay calm in my thoughts.
i can't wait our new life together.

at the same time, am utterly nervous.
need to look my best on that day!!
afterall, it is going to be the most significant day of our lives.
lots of photos will be taken.

also feeling sad that i'm 'leaving' my family/home of 27 years.
am entering a new and next phase of my life.

guo da li is this sunday. hope it will all be smooth.
can't wait for him to meet my 奶妈. i was really sad to know she and her family couldnt make it,
but i guess, alot of things are still remembered by the heart. ah-pek, can you see me from wherever you are?
your ying-ying (their nick for me) is getting married!! im sure you are smiling happily and will share my joy.
i miss you deeply... hear from me during the wedding speech ok?

an chuan is 1 day before the wedding.
isaac will come and jump and roll on the bed..
i dreamt we had a baby girl last night though... haha!

i hope we don't miss out anything during these remaining days, alot of last-minute things to attend to..
most importantly, i hope our guests will remember to turn-up, and less people telling us they last-minute cannot come. will upload the other photos after the wedding so as not to spoil the surprise :)

"You are engaged. Your wedding day is fast approaching. You are excited, but you're also worried, anxious and scared. You are definitely glowing, though you're not sure if it is from joy or sweat.

It is impossible to know at the age of 20 or 30 or 40 how you will feel in 20 or 30 or 40 more years. Therefore, when you make the commitment to be with that same person for the rest of your life, it is scary. It is hard to know yourself so well, let alone how you will relate to another as time goes.

As the magical wedding celebration ends, it is only beginning for the couple.

Yet, if you trust that you are with someone you can speak with, someone who understands you, respects you, and shares the same vision with you, then, as scary as it is, you are doing it together. And knowing that you are not alone in this life-changing move, should be comforting and reassuring, though certainly won’t take away all the fear.

It is Hallmark, the photographers, the band, caterers and wedding hall that make us feel that the biggest part of marriage is the wedding itself. Somehow, that one day is made to be the focus and climax of all that is to come.

And because so many people are coming to celebrate with you, and these very same people have bought you expensive presents, it seems that for their sake everything is expected to be perfect. Needless to say, perfection is a pretty huge responsibility to be placed on two people that are about to make the biggest decision and commitment of their lives. But as the magical wedding celebration draws to a close, while it is the end for the guests, it is only the beginning for the couple.

The engagement period is a time of excitement. But more importantly, it is a time for preparation. And I don’t mean the preparations required to make the wedding. If anything, all these technical preparations can distract from the real work that needs to be done during this time. The engagement should be a time for self reflection, self-refinement and honesty, so that both bride and groom strive to become the best partner that they can be.

And though in our fairytale wedding story no one wants to face the reality, in truth it is a very difficult period, a pretty unsettling time filled with stress, responsibilities, and doubt. We are creatures of habit, not creatures of change, so it is only natural that something of this magnitude will be scary. Yet, when we ensure that we are thinking not only with our heart but also with our head, when we know that we are committing to a relationship with someone who shares the qualities, morals and direction that is important to us, then our fears are the normal fears that come with any new step in life.

So we must make sure that as we prepare for our wedding we take the time we need for ourselves. We must ensure that we are focusing on our personal learning, growth and development, not just taking the time for our pre-wedding parties, hair or clothes fittings. If we focus as much on our spiritual preparations as we do on the physical preparations, then we are laying the foundation for an enduring marriage, for a life of love, achievement and fulfillment--together."

Extracted from The Wedding Jitters

--
Recently, I have been feeling nervous every night, causing sleepless nights or bad sleep. The wedding is approaching fast and furious. I am excited, yet wish time could slow down. Its a mix ball of emotions. Ultimately it is the fear of the unknown future. As much as we are loving now, will we still be as loving 5, 10, 20 years and more down the road? will we still take the time to be together without the kids? how will kids change the dynamics of the relationship? will i, or will he change to be a stranger? It is this very fear that life and circumstances will change the very person we are now, today, and cause us to drift. I harbour no hopes that marriage is a happiness-only ideal, infact I expect it will be very trying, very arduous at times. I only hope at the end of every difficult period, we will still be hand in hand. There will be lots of exciting things to look forward to, like our new house (not looking forward to cleaning it though), our first baby, and all the new stuff to experience together in the next phase of life - bungee jumping?

it's now or never!

I had a draft that i wrote since Feb 2012 about choosing the wedding dinner venue!!! I am restarting it here, the actual pricing info might be outdated but hopefully it may still be useful to BTBs when considering venues.

For memory sake I will just start with a little story.

We both knew we would get married on June 29, 2013.
6 months into the relationship, he 'proposed' the timeline that we would get engaged in our 2nd year and then get married in our 3rd year. I was very touched he showed such early commitment and to me that was as good as an unofficial proposal without the actual "Will you marry me?" question. And so the 3 year plan was a goal that we were working towards. We started a joint account in Jan 2011 and were saving up, but we didn't really knew the market rates for the vendors. Then I chanced upon a heart-shaped diamond ring in Oct 2011 in The New Paper, and it was love-at-first-sight. We checked it out at Love&Co, Vivo City and decided to buy that ring, it was a little impulsive and definitely very early, but I think we thought that it is never too early since we already had a definite date in mind, plus the ring would take a couple of months to be ready. I am very happy that I chose my own engagement ring, because the usual solitaire doesn't satisfy me! (As usual I don't like to have something that most other people have)

In January 2012, I started doing plenty of research to check and compare vendor rates so we could have a budget to work with. Before I knew it, we were receeing hotels in March 2012. It was early, but we wanted to find the dream venue for the dream date before we regret letting someone else book it. We found a place we both liked and made the booking in April 2012 (Crowne Plaza Hotel) as they had a wedding show and we found no reason to decline the package offered since our date was fixed. We also booked our photographer and videographer whom we met at another wedding show, and whose portfolio we love. So all these happened before he proposed. It may seem like I was crazy, but I was quite happy to decide on these vendors so early in the planning, and I think it actually helped as we didn't have to scramble around looking for these vendors after the actual proposal. Saved lots of headache as after the proposal happened, I was able to get right down to business, having already sorted out the major vendors.

Then our 2nd anniversary in June 2012 came and went, but he didn't propose. Of course that would be too cliche and unsurprising to propose on the anniversary day, but I wondered when it would happen. All other planning like gown trying was then put on hold because I felt he need to propose first!! And everyone who knew I am getting married often asked me to tell them about the proposal or show them the ring, which made it kind of awkward for me, as I had to explain I was planning my wedding without being officially engaged and with the ring.

It became a bit of a "arghhhh why is he making me wait soooo long?" grudge and as and when I will ask him whether he was going to propose, and when. This made it more difficult for him to surprise me as I didn't let down my guard. Then all the dates like his birthday, my birthday passed, and I was left thinking "what the hell" again. Many times I felt quite sad and pressured because I really wanted to restart the planning process proper but I felt like "No, I don't want to try on a gown without being officially engaged".

Well it turned out he wanted to propose in August, and then Nov, but both times I somehow 'spoilt' the plan by bringing work home, or being moody so he had to postpone. And the flowers he prepared had to be thrown away. :(

So finally the proposal happened on Dec 21 (there will be a cartoon love story on the wedding that depicts how it happened), and even though I still wish it could have happened earlier, I understand that it actually turned out for the better because by then I had already let my guard down (adopting a zen approach of "if it happens, it happens") and was truly taken aback by surprise. :) (Thanks again baby for making me wait so long!!)

Also the good thing about the way things happened is that I wouldn't be pressured to say Yes when he proposed, because I have had plenty of time to think through this decision and commitment. I do wish we had videos or better photographs of that special moment, but yet I am thankful that it was just the 2 of us, because that after-moment really feels alot alot more special than if friends were around to help record it. A moment to remember, literally.

Ok, so let's move on to the planning process and info

We looked at mostly banquets that require a low minimum of 20 tables for weekends because we thought we had very little people to invite (wrong! we almost bursted the maximum at one point). So if anyone is also planning a small banquet, I hope these would be helpful as a start. (Warning: do buffer at least 5 tables than what you think you have in the guest list)

Here are the hotels we've visited in alphabetical order -

*price per table is an estimate based on 2012-mid 2013 packages.

Amara Hotel

Coordinator: Violette was professional and warm. She treated us to tea and gave us complimentary parking.

Ballroom: Quite spacious for 25 tables, long march-in, carpet is kind of unique with words all over, beautiful fibre-optic ceiling panels that makes it look like stars, but can also be a little empty/plain if you don't have much decor, low ceiling. Prettier than in photos.

Perks: Gave us a few good perks without us asking. eg: waiver of corkage for unlimited bottles of wine that we bring in, free usage of soleminzation room, helper's room etc)

Others: Option to do a poolside soleminzation at $600++ extra. Near Tanjong Pagar MRT, convenient for guests.

Didn't like: Amara hotel is 4-stars only and doesn't feel as new/grand as the other hotels. There's renovation going on now to link the hotel to a new mall beside it. Dusty and noisy when we visited. [Update: the new 10am mall is up and pretty convenient now!!)

The way leading to the ballroom was quite indirect, guests may need to ask for directions. You may also have to share the recep area with others who are having functions in the other rooms, and the main ballroom door seemed more like a side door instead (at a corner).

Per table: $928++ for weekends

Worth checking Amara Hotel out for the pretty & spacious ballroom and affordable price.

Carlton Hotel

Coordinator: Feel that Joanna was abit disorganised and appeared to be in a rush. Although friendly but not really someone we feel we could trust to manage our expectations. No drinks provided but she did direct us to her staff to get free parking ticket from the recep.

Ballroom: Empress Ballroom 4&5 which is their new ballroom is pretty but the layout makes the tables very cramped and near one another. Empress 1,2&3 looks similar but they have a few block pillars which can be a little in the way of some guests. High ceiling but not vowed by the layout. Also don't feel it's worth to have to pay $30 more per table to use the newer ballroom.

Perks: The most "ngiao" (stingy) hotel because they only give you additional perks if you book a minimum of 28 tables for weekends or 25 tables for weekdays (strange cuz' weekends get less benefits at the cost of more tables). If you take less than that, no nego for perks. Upon hearing this, in my mind already strike out this hotel. Mind you, their perks are just the normal ones that ALL the other hotels i visited threw in for free. ie. additional 10% wedding cards and carkpark passes. and complimentary food tasting is not even given!!! -_-

Others: Lobby and main hotel area very new and posh. Location is central and easy to reach via MRT.

Didn't like: Said everything above

Per table: $978-$1008++ for weekends

Basically Carlton Hotel didn't need our business. Don't see any incentives to sign up at all.

Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel

Coordinator: It was their 2012 wedding show we went to, so no specific coordinator that we spoke with.

Ballroom: I remember they had a few ballrooms, but only the biggest one looked spacious and airy while the rest were more like function rooms. The Grand Ballroom's ceiling is quite high (6m) and looked quite new. They have different minimum seating for different ballrooms. The Waterfront Ballroom was the one we considered with Minimum 22 tables & Maximum 28 tables. Good thing about the hotel is the beautiful outdoor wedding chapel that is suitable for solemnisation. The chapel is however located right at the drive-in area, quite weird.

Perks: No free food tasting (have to pay 50%), the others were standard throw-ins

Didn't like: Location is definitely poor as it is not near MRT. Its carpark was very shabby and dirty looking and was linked to a mall that looks run-down. Doesn't feel grand.

Per table: S$1,318.00 nett, which was abit too high for the location in my opinion

Not in our eventual consideration as it's price point did not match with our expectations.

Fairmont and Swissotel

Coordinator: Wendy, a middle-aged lady was very warm and friendly, and even slightly motherly. She was not pushy but quite humorous and explained the packages in detail to us.

Ballroom: Similarly they had a couple of ballrooms which you can use depending on your table requirement, and if I do not recall wrongly, there are no restrictions whether you book through Fairmont or Swissotel on the usage. The Atrium ballroom fitted our criteria of min 20, max 30 tables, however it was not high ceiling and some views would be obstructed due to the pillars.

Perks: Stunning ice sculpture provided at the reception decked with fruits, along with the usual free carpark coupons, free 6 btl of wine with every 20 tables, free barrel of beer etc

Others: Location is good as it's just above Raffles City SC and City Hall MRT. However with the multiple ballrooms and the fact that it is joined to the shopping centre means that it can get a little confusing and difficult to locate the correct ballroom as there would be a few weddings on weekends.

Per table: S$1098++ for Sundays, and $1138++ for Saturdays

It was one of our shortlisted hotels for the good branding, central and accessible location and affordable packages.

Hotel Re!

Coordinator: No particular person as we attended their wedding show. We actually went there because there were a few other vendors we were interested in (Ichiro Films, La Belle Couture, Bryan Jean Photography, which we actually signed up 2 out of 3 packages there and then).

Ballroom: Ballroom was alright, even though the ceiling was not high, they didnt have any pillars. What was interesting was that they had some pretty unique themes like "Starry Starry Night", "Fairytale" etc, and each theme was quite elaborate and colorful (at additional cost but are quite suitable for brides who want fancy themes!).

The ballroom is inside (looks like restaurant to me) and you can do the solemnization outside at the carpark area.

Strangely at the wedding show, the models even kissed when they went on stage.
(Maybe they were a real couple?!) haha!

Perks: Can't remember honestly, since we were not looking into details

Didn't like: Right next to CTE and the drive-in to the hotel is easy to miss, as it is kind of situated on a slope. We missed it and had to drive for another 10 minutes to find a U-turn. Nearest MRT is Outram and then it's alot of walking (if you can even find your way). Apparently they do provide shuttle bus services from a few locations - that tells you how accessible it really is. :P It also looks very like a HDB flat rather than a hotel. My guess is that it's established as a boutique hotel.

Per table: $988++ to $1138++ depending on package

Not shortlisted because we were not comfortable that it was not an 'established' hotel brand, and the price range is a little high. It's unique though if you fancy those strong themes - which I did not care for.

I shall continue with the videographers and photographers that we researched on in another post! :)

I was sent the Enavose's new neck lift cream before Chinese New Year! How timely, since one of my new year resolutions was to care more for my neck.

The good:
The parcel came in the usual box, this time wrapped with a thoughtful Pashima shawl that I could totally reuse and a personalised handwritten note. Enavose certainly knows how to delight their customers :)

The bad:
Due to the long holidays for CNY and all the preparations, I wasn't able to rip open the parcel until almost a week later. And this meant that the initial plan to surprise me with fresh orchids turned into a very unpleasant, rotting affair with mould and all. (trust me, you wouldn't want to be there when I opened it) I think they should have considered the CNY holidays or at least alert with a "Open immediately" kind of notice to avoid such a situation.

Now, moving on to the actual product
- Based on the Nobel Prize-winning discovery of Telomere
- Comes with the same airless jar mechanism which I am thankful for! (no bacteria or having your fingernails scoop the cream instead of your fingers)
- Meant for toning, firming and tightening of the neck line and improves the appearance of wrinkles and lines
- Hydrates and protects

My review of Enavose's Cellogist Neck Lift Cream
- It smells like mochi!! (or maybe i am crazy) but point is it smells nice, nothing too strong, just a pleasant smell and it disappears after a while
- I love the texture; it's non-greasy and very easily massaged/absorbed into the skin even though it is a cream (as compared to La Mer, which is like some very thick glob!)
- Feels light on the skin and non sticky
- One to two light pumps will cover the entire neck area, so this jar will go a long way!!

I have only been using this for a week and even for the long-term I am not sure whether results will be seen. As you know, the neck is often 'abused' with all our tugging movements and neglience to it. I see this cream as more preventive rather than a cure to remove those lines. Maybe in my 50s, that's when I will know whether whatever skin routine I am practising now helps or not. :D

The Cellogist Neck Lift Cream is a nice to have, but it does not come cheap. Retails at S$99.50, but you can get it now at a promotional price of S$69.00 until end of this month. The price does really makes me @_@ but I am hoping it is "you get what you pay for". However it is not often we come across a product that specifically targets the neck, so if you really have serious 'turkey neck', then why not give this product a try? In my opinion, it's more suitable for those who are looking to extend their beauty routine, rather than those who are just starting out with skincare.

Visit Enavose's facebook here or website here for more details! You can also purchase or try it at
Main store: Suntec City Mall, Tower 3, #02-079/081 or
Counter: Tangs, VivoCity Beauty Hall

Overall: 3/5 because of the price tag

Thank you Enavose (Dorothy) for sending me for review. :)

I'm on my way to fulfilling my new year resolution.

In 2013, I resolve to...

1. reach a stable 5 figure in personal savings (hope this will still be possible after spending on wedding + honeymoon)

2. run once a month and yoga once a week (i am still not the biggest fan of running on my free will so...)

3. join 5 runs (and collect 5 more medals!)

4. moisture my neck and mask weekly (now that i'm getting closer to the big 3-0, it's vital to protect the neck!)

5. learn a new language - korean (technically not new for me, but the fun is re-learning it with roland)

6. keep to $150 shopping per month ('pay myself first' rule)

Somehow the first month of 2013 passed so quickly. it felt like just yesterday that we were celebrating Christmas and it's already Chinese Near Year in a couple days' time. i hadnt been looking forward to this year's CNY because it is going to be the last year I will spend it with my own family. The last year I will spend it with them in Malaysia, like I have been doing for the past 20-over years. It just feels weird, even though there will be plenty of time until the next CNY to adjust to the idea. or maybe i will never adjust to this idea until it actually happens.

CNY in my family is different from most families. We don't go to our relatives' house to 拜年 individually. We just plonk ourselves in my grandmother's house and everyone will be there for us to 拜年 to. During the recent years, we have been spending it in Malacca, like tourists, before going back to my grandmother's house for a customary visit. I don't拜年 with my father's side relatives in Singapore, but they will still pass us angpows. It's just the way it goes in my family. Come next year, these habits and traditions will change for me. I will not even get the chance to 拜年 to my own parents, instead it will be with his parents. I will have to go to his aunts and uncles' houses, something i am quite sure I will feel very not used to. How do I adapt to a new routine after so many years? (big question mark)

And I am also feeling very sad because I LOVE LOVE LOVE the CNY FEAST my mum prepares every year. Steamboat + BBQ, omgwtfbbq. It is the BOMB, lots of butter and pork and prawns and abalone and my favourite dang-oh! And the pre-preparations to the actual dinner. Because I'm getting married (out), I won't be able to partake in these anymore. I will be having my reunion dinner with his family first, and it will be a different dinner (no two mums cook the same right!). Not saying the dinner his mum prepares is not tasty, but it is not the same. There will not be my dang-oh, or the usual ingredients, because different families have different food habits. ie. fish dish is a must-have with my father, but his family hardly orders/cooks fish. I know, it's just changes and I will adapt to them eventually. But I just feel like emo-ing.

Nowadays I try to cherish the days I get to spend with my family, enjoy the walk to the bus-stop, relish the freedom to wake up/sleep by myself, or simply spending time at home. Little things that i have taken for granted in the past, but will change soon. It's 142 days more of walking alone. Don't think that I am dreading getting married, I am just afraid of the changes to the living habits and patterns that I am used to. I am actually looking very forward to our wedding, or rather our marriage. I count down to the days when I will finally get to wake up beside him (and it's not just a stayover), and to spend each day with him. Even though we do simple things, his company is more than enough for me. It is just a sense of support and stability that I crave.

Along our journey, there are some friends who ask me/him "Why do we meet (almost) everyday?" - especially since we are getting married soon, shouldn't we enjoy our singlehood and freedom now, 还怕没有机会吗？

My thinking is simple:

if we don't spend everyday together, how do we know if we can stand each other everyday after marriage?

if we can't stand to see each other everyday now, why would we even want to get married?

and lastly, life is fragile, 我就是怕失去机会。。。

So no, I am not embarrassed to admit I see my boyfriend (fiancé) and have dinner tog almost everyday, unless both of us are busy meeting friends. Infact, I look forward to each occasion. I'm very thankful for this friendship-turned-relationship and I'm very grateful to friends who have been supporting us and our wedding. Especially happy when some of my old friends from primary and secondary school RSVP-ed and messaged me privately to say they will be attending. These are people whom I haven't seen for 5-10 years, but deep down their coming meant alot to me, that our friendship memories stayed in their hearts. They care enough and they bother to come. True friends will be happy for us, I know.

It is still surreal that I am moving to the next phase of life. I don't know exactly how that will feel, but I know many things will surely change in my life. I wonder how things at home will be like. This is also my first time moving out of my house, if you exclude living in hall 12. Alot of things to move but there's not enough space in his room. :D

I get mental images sometimes, of the actual day, of me walking down the aisle, of the veil over my head, of the excitment, the nervousness, and the huge 'omg-it's over' disbelief.

I feel suddenly so grown-up. It's like, I could be a mother anytime.

Enough rambling for today.

Let's see... it's been two months since my last post and i am way too backdated in recording down the moments of my life.

i shall start with a New Year kind of post and review whether i stuck to my 2012 resolutions below

1. To save 25% of my monthly salary.
Setting a percentage wasn't so smart cuz I didn't consider pay increment lol. So nope, I didn't meet my personal savings goal although I did put aside a considerably tidy amount for our joint savings every month. 

2. Set aside $200 every month for my uni loan repayment to my father.
Errr, that stopped for quite awhile so I need to start again...

3. Spend more time and effort removing my makeup so that my skin is clean.
Yes I did, most of the time so yay!

4. Apply moisturizer on legs 3 times a week and apply facemask once a week.
not quite as hardworking but I tried to whenever I remember.... 

5. Exercise twice a month.
Hmmmm, definitely a no in 2012!!! :(

6. Go to Universal Studios Singapore.
Yes!!!! And loved it! (even tho I neglected to blog about it yet....)

7. Get my 1st medal from a run
Not only did I get one, but i completed THREE runs and got 2 more medals than what I set out to do... This is the proudest acheivement of all my resolutions hahahaha! I did the Best Friend Run with bb, Shape run with namaste girls and Brooke run (my longest 9km feat!!!) with bb. It's amazing how I did it, especially the Brooke run. I have never thought u would pay to run. But I did, for the sake of collecting medals, and gradually for that awesome sense of satisfaction when I run across the finishing line.

There were so many good things to remember about last year.. 
2012 was good to me because I got a better paying job, and made new awesome friends. I'm not the kind of girl who has many girl friends but i found 8 special intimates friends and the most amazing thing is we met online, via twitter for our common love for online shopping. These girls never fail to amuse me with our daily gossip, secrets and discussions. We always help one another cart things out now, lol. (minty spree!)

I also surprisedly made the decision to sign up another membership, this time with True Yoga, because I really enjoyed all the trial sessions. So far, so good. There are always vacancies for classes if i book in advance and there is never a queue for the showers unlike in True Fitness, and that makes me a happy member. I have managed to go for yoga every week for the last 3 months :) keeping this up means I can definitely achieve "Exercise twice a month" resolution this year! Yoga really enhances my flexibility and elongates my body like never before. I used to be really poor at Sit and Reach, but now I can reach my toes, bend backwards and stretch my body in ways I didn't imagine possible. My favourite is definitely hot yoga, sweating it all out and finding focus during the session and enjoying the calmness after each practice. The best advice I heard purging a particular yoga class is "Be grateful, for your body. Be grateful, for your mind. Be grateful for your yoga practice." Simple saying but it stuck in my mind. During yoga, i really feel thankful for each inhale and exhale, for the oxygen in my lungs, as I think about those less fortunate than me, those whose breathes may be limited and counted. I have never liked exercising, but I actually exercised alone for the past two weeks, I'm quite proud of this change in me. :) Looking forward to each session.

Overall, I'm really thankful for everything, and also because I was in good health (hardly got sick at all) throughout 2012. 

And most importantly, i got engaged to my best fit line!!! I waited soooooo long for his proposal and there were many moments of questions and doubts when I was down... But it finally happened on the supposed last day of the world, 21 Dec 2012. I've blogged the details in my private journal but that day remains so surreal and special in my heart. Love my heart shaped diamond ring and most of all, happy to be walking down the aisle soon with the man whom I trust more than life itself. I'm always tearing when I try to visualise that actual day. Even though we may be together for only 2.5 years now, inside me I know I have trusted you since the time we were friends. From 2005 to now, our friendship evolved into a relationship, and we have both changed so much but I'm only thankful its for the best of our future. I'm glad I chose to tell you everything about me and I'm glad you chose to accept me and my everything. Let there be truth between us always, no matter how ugly it may sound. Truth always work better than deceit and lies. Thank you baby for all the things you did for me that I often seem to take for granted. I may not say it all the time but I'm v happy and touched by your efforts to pick me up every working day and waiting hours for me. You are not perfect but so am I, we can only try to compromise and continue to accept each other as we are. Thank you for giving me a private proposal, one whose full beauty lies in the memory of only the two of us, at the very place where i started feeling you could be the one. 

2013 has even greater things waiting for us. :)

Ill be back with my new year resolutions soon, promise.

2 weeks ago, I went to my first Bikram yoga with the shopaholics.

Woah, I almost blacked out from the heat and the lack of iron as my period just ended.

I was only at the third pose when I started seeing black spots and had to sit down because my vision was lacking. I couldn't even see Emmy clearly, and she was just infront of me! Each time I tried standing up to join the class I had the same black spots and nauseous feeling. Hence I remained seated most of the time, and joined them from the Dead Body Pose onwards, as it was plenty of sitting and lying down. Loved Bow Pose and Fixed Arm Pose because my back felt so shiok being stretched! And after each pose #14-26, we had to go back to Dead Man Pose. I was like thinking wtf when is this ending, because 90 mins felt too long. Despite this, I enjoyed sweating like a cow, and looking at Emmy's little toes to focus. And not to mention there was a guy who sweated so much he was dripping from his p*nis. LOL.

Bikram is way too advanced for me now, but I hope one day I can be better equipped to try it again.

Last week we went for gentle yoga, as hot yoga was fully booked. Despite the session being easier as we were in an aircon room, I can fully feel the benefits of all the stretching I did, because the next day I was more aware of keeping a good posture while standing or seating as well as my breathing. Nowadays I often inhale deeply and not take for granted each breath that I take in. Life is possible only because of each inhale and exhale. Yoga enlightens me in little ways like that. Throughly enjoyed the session with them. Next week will be hot yoga, my favourite. Hope I dont feel dizzy. I actually feel satisfied when I can push myself further to touch my toes (something I couldn't do previously, my Sit & Reach always fail), or lift my legs 90 degrees. Been practising my stretches at home so I can be more flexible in yoga classes. I find that the right breathing techniques really help me to push further or stretch harder. I can imagine spaces in my shoulder and my spine elongating. :)

 

I also took running to another level when I decided that I would go for StandChart HK 10km run. I booked the air tickets and hotel with bestie and it was so nerve-racking registering for the run on Wednesday because the server was busy and keep hanging. I woke up at 645 am just to register because it is open at 7am (even had a dream about me not able to get the slot), and also got Roland to help me register. In the end he managed to get in and registered for me at about 745am and I successfully registered for wenxin at 810am after a bad scare of payment error. I'm really excited to go for my first overseas run, and also my 1st 10km run. It's challenging for me and again, I am paying USD40 plus air tickets S$300, and hotel for running???! Previously unheard of. I wouldn't even pay to run in Singapore. But thanks to the positive influence from my shopaholics who are also running enthus, I think I am starting to realise the importance of exercise and also like the adrenaline and satisfaction upon completion of each race.

I started with 2.4km (Best Friend Run), then 5km (Shape Run) and now 10km. Who knows, maybe one day I can finish 16.8km or 21km. Never say never!

Already thought of my New Year 2013 resolution, that is to complete at least 3 runs next year.

Really can't wait for Feb, because it will be wenxin and my first solo trip together!! Though we can't go to Japan tog (yet), I think it will be a super memorable time for us in HK. I don't know why we didn't think of going HK together before. With so many friends going together, it's going to be a blast! :)

I like how exercise trains the mind. Like YT always say, mind over body!!

Cheers to healthy vintage!!

i admit i haven't been keeping up with my blog.

i dont blog for people to read as much as i blog for my own recollection.

the less i blog now, the less i remember in future about the present.

so i really need to get my photos uploaded and do a massive update for the past few months...

my bday celebrations, wenxin's bday celebrations, the fabulous USS trip, and probably some other stuff that have already slipped my mind :(

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i'm really thankful again and again that i had the habit of keeping a diary and a blog.

there are some things that i discover or recall when i read my archives, some made me happy, some made me gasp, some made me sad. but for each of the ups and downs i read, it was all me. i'm thankful i have a consolidated space to remember the stories of my life, the little individual incidents that i felt were worth noting down, and of course writing about the various milestones of my life.

hitting mid-late 20s really struck me as the start of my adulthood. not that i wasn't an adult all along, but it's only this year that i begun to really feel and see it in me. perhaps i felt that the first 2-3 years of working was like cruising, people were more understanding because "you just graduated". people were more forgiving of your lack of experience, as long as you were willing to learn. however, this year, along with the promotion and change in title in the new job, I can feel that I no longer have that privilege. And I also started feeling the (real) pressure of earning money not just for day-to-day needs but for life ahead (kids, retirement etc). When I got my first paycheck, the feeling was yay, I can eat what i want and buy what i like. Now, it feels like the bills stack up faster than the pay comes in each month. Every "little" purchase at Watson's for shampoo, or a lipstick or moisturiser, adds to the pinch on my credit card statements. The more i earn, the greater the purchasing power. When you earn $100, you will spend $100, because you eat at MacDonald's. When you earn $1000, you will spend $1000, because your taste will become more atas and you will eat at Din Tai Fung or Dempsey's. Our expectations towards the quality of life increase, and of course we start to look out for things and purchases that better our lives ie. supplements, bird nest, non-drugstore cosmetics.

And I also see the effects on my skin and health. Although this year has been a really healthy and lucky year for me - i no longer get frequent flus and seemingly grown used to late nights and early mornings - i see lines on my forehead and under the eyes, and i get lethargic more easily as compared to a year ago. I prefer resting at home during the weekends and even weekday nights I try not to go out till too late.

so yes, I feel more grown up now. Sometimes the thought of having kids scare me a little, as much as I anticipate them. Solely because I can't imagine myself being responsible to care for another human being (mind you, i'm the youngest in the family and hence am not used to having to take care of others) in terms of their basic needs (eating, shittinz, crying) and also financial needs (baby diapers, milk powder, and university fees). I honestly don't know how my parents did it, i can only guess - sheer hard work.

So much rambling, but one day when I have my own kids, i will probably look at this post and say "I did it"

People change, but memories don't. This applies to not just memories of others in your life who have changed and left, but also memories of yourself.

I also believe circumstance changes people, people don't change on their own. We were once what we recall from our memories, and I think that past self can't be much different a person from who we are today. Circumstance changes, but character doesn't.