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A Moment to Remember.

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

Looking back on 2013

2013 was an important year in my life, with many significant moments.
And it has therefore become an unbeatable year.

It was the year I got married to the man whom I never dreamt of.
Went to my dream holiday destination, Maldives.
Spent the most amount of the money in my life for the above events.
Wore wedding gowns for the first time. Drove an Audi TTS.
Wore my Christian Louboutins for wedding.
Moved to Sengkang to stay with my in-laws.

Had the most memorable trip to Hong Kong together with Wenxin + shuen and en surprising me en-route, marking it as our first overseas trip after a decade long friendship.
Completed my first overseas run in HK which was also my first 10km run.
Achieved two more 10km for Shape Run and Great Eastern Womens Run.
Took up Korean language again.
Got closer to my knitties.

Bought myself a Prada bag with cold hard cash.
Got myself my dream Ferragamo classic varinas in black and red.

I started and ended 2013 on a good note and I am really thankful for all the blessings i've received.

I think 2014 will be very exciting too.
I am going to receive the keys to my own house!!
It is so surreal.
I can't wait.

An Nyeong 2014

Hello! 2nd day of the new year 2014, and I think I will review my 2013 resolutions and of course make new ones.

Here's the list of my 2013 resolutions:
1. reach a stable 5 figure in personal savings (hope this will still be possible after spending on wedding + honeymoon)
Obviously did not happen for personal savings - ashamed to say. Our joint savings is also back at a low 5 figure sum after the wedding and extravagant (but very worth) honeymoon in Maldives (which I will blog about soon)

2. run once a month and yoga once a week (i am still not the biggest fan of running on my free will so...)

Kidding. I did yoga once a week most of the time, sometimes twice a week, but running.... errrr, 0 times except for runs.

3. join 5 runs (and collect 5 more medals!)
Safari Zoo run, StandChart HK run, Kranji Countryside Run, Shape Run, Great Eastern Women's Run - accomplished!

4. moisture my neck and mask weekly (now that i'm getting closer to the big 3-0, it's vital to protect the neck!)
Yes to moisturizing neck but erm, no too lazy to mask weekly. I thought I would do so after moving in with Roland, but sadly it is more like as-and-when.

5. learn a new language - korean (technically not new for me, but the fun is re-learning it with roland)
We did!!!!! Picking up korean again is one of my highlights in 2013, 재미있어요! Only regret is not doing it earlier. Enjoying the language, the dramas, the variety shows, and learning more about Korea's history and culture. I hope one day I will be able to speak it fluently and be confident to use it when speaking to Koreans. Now I mainly use it for code-talk with Roland and to understand some bits of korean shows and eavesdropping in Korean restaurants.

6. keep to $150 shopping per month ('pay myself first' rule)
Referring to number 1, you will get your answer. :(:(:( This is damn hard to change.


Resolutions for 2014
1.  I want to live in the moment. Live in the present and enjoy each day, because who knows how many 'next time' or tomorrow we have left. Naturally there are lots of things we take for granted everyday. But I want to change that, because I feel that relationships go downhill when you stop being thankful/grateful for what seems to happen naturally. Hence, each goodbye that I say to my loved ones, I now try to make the most out of it, with an extra hug or kiss, or extra words. And I always count my blessings, and focus on what others do for me, rather than what they don't or what they lack. And in 2014, I want to notice more, observe more, remember more, and be more mindful of the surroundings, of myself and my actions.

2. Be a better listener.
I am definitely a talker and not a listener. But I've improved on this in 2013, compared to earlier times in our relationship when Roland would be talking and I would realise later that I don't remember anything he said. #guilty In 2014, I want to focus on being present, on really listening, on really enjoying my time with others rather than scrolling through my phone or drifting away to space. I want to borrow my ears to others more often and not just hear them, but listen to them.

3. Immerse in anything Korean for at least 1 hour a day - korean shows, websites, revision, etc - and get to Intermediate level by end of 2014.

4. Start saving $500 each month for my Chanel / Celine bag, whichever comes first. I should have enough spare cash by end of year.

5. Go for the runs that I missed in 2013.. ie. 2XU (which I've signed up already!), Adidas run (cancelled due to rain last year), Sundown 10km etc.

6. Drink one bottle of water everyday at work!!! I drink too little water.. more water will aid in better metabolism, digestion, better skin, etc. so YES to water, no to bubble tea.

edit - last one -
7. To be the BEST wife!!!
This spurred from a blog that I read. Basically the man expressed his love for his wife so much and so deep, it appeared that the wife is a very good wife, who puts his needs and feelings above hers, and always considerate and understanding even when things go wrong and a wonderful mom to their 2 kids. That made me rethink what kind of wife I am and would be... and I decided I want to be the best wife that Roland can have, so that if any day he blogs or tells others about me when I am not around, people will also think "wah she sounds like such a good wife!" lol. That blog became my inspiration to better myself as a wife and mother (in future). When Roland heard this he said "Then I need to have 3 wives... so that they can be good and better and you can be best." HAHAHHA. -_-

Okay, that's all else I won't even remember.

I will blog about the best of 2013 soon!

And on this day, we marry.

It's almost 6 months since we got married. I typed the below post long long ago in July, but never managed to finish it. As the year 2013 is ending I need to post this before it gets trashed into the bin.


it's a month since 29/6. time really passed so quickly.
How did my 2 weeks of annual leave ended so quickly? :(

Taking leave for 2 weeks is damn shiok, even though we were too tied up in the week leading up to the big day, running errands, gowns last fitting, meeting videographer and photographers, etc.

The day before the wedding, we had a super long day..

- Woke up 6am to go fetch Isaac over.

- 安床: We got Roland's aunt and husband who is supposedly a blessed couple to come for this 'ceremony'. Basically they helped us to change the bedsheets to the new and red set that we bought. After this, I got my nephew Isaac to jump and roll on the bed, as he is 童子, supposed to bless the us with many children. Then a tray was placed on the bed, which included various stuff like charcoal, dried longan, red dates, lotus seeds etc for different meanings, and some angpows that are meant to be placed under the bed at the 4 corners. Finally we on the 2 bedside lamps that we specially bought - this is called 点灯. After this ceremony, Roland had to sleep in the living room haha.

- Went to collect my mum's IC from my house.

- Went back to Roland's house as he forgot to change his shoes.

- Sent Isaac to school.

- Went to ROM to collect our wedding cert, they were very efficient so we were out in 5 minutes.

- Went to Chinatown Point to collect Tshirts for Tooka Print.

- Went back to my house again to collect the things that we needed to move to my bro's house. As there happened to be a wake at my flat's void deck, we were not comfortable with the idea that it will clash with our wedding as the wake was unlikely to end before the wedding. I mean, it isnt sensitive to them as well, if the brothers come horning the car away right... I was quite depressed over it when I found out.. and initially my mother said it's fine to continue the usual plans.. both me and Roland didn't want to, afterall we planned so hard and long for this big day, and want to avoid any last minute things that could upset this. Luckily Mum gave in to my solution and my brother was very open to us using his house. for that, i am so grateful to him and Da-Sao for cleaning the house vigorously that night, and even buying extra fans and installed new lights for the wedding. They even offered their bed to me, but in the end I took Isaac's bed :)

- Went to collect the bridal car (Audi TTS) from Ace Drive, where we rented it from. The car is really awesome, I had to drive it out as Roland's license is less than 2/3 years. It was darn scary I tell you, because TTS is a very low car and I was afraid to scratch or damage it when crossing the road humps. Also not used to driving such an expensive car. Despite this, I managed to drive it home safely and am proud to say I drove a TTS before! :D

- Drove the car down to Di Gio to tie the wedding car decor. Took about 45 minutes, and traffic was a bitch to and fro as it was Friday evening.

my blue purple hand bouquet!

- Roland sent me home to rest around 8pm and then went to deliver Tshirts and wash his car for the wedding

In total, we travelled some 18 locations in 12 hours because we kept forgetting to bring this and that.

I was trying to fall asleep before 11pm, since I had to wake up at 330am... but I remember feeling nervous and excited.. called wenxin to chat for a while before i finally felt like i could use some sleep.

Morning wedding 29 June (our 3rd anniversary as well!)

My shoes for the day! Christian Louboutin nude heels and red bow heels from taobao. what a contrast in price LOL.

Mum and Dad veiling me.

Everything went quite smoothly I must say. Not long after I woke up, my makeup artist, Keith, arrived and started to prep my hair. Around 5am, my sister, mum and the jie-meis arrived and were busy preparing for the gatecrash. By 7am i could hear all the shouting and demanding outside, while I was waiting (perspiring under the veil) in Isaac's room.

I wanted to face-time so I can see what was happening but alas it just didnt work at that time! the jie-meis took videos and whatsapp to me instead. I was laughing while waiting..

Some dress shots that I took while waiting :) Isaac was grumpy cuz he had to wake so early. Hehe.

Finally the kiss shot when he was let into the room (which was Isaac's room).

Some of my favourite shots... i look better at this angle hahahah!

Brother shielding me with red umbrella...

and i had to throw the red fan out of the car and not look back to symbolise that I will 嫁得好... (i was feeling quite teary cuz it feels like i'm being given away and cannot even glance at my family and friends haha!)

As we finished the gatecrash on time, we had 20 minutes to spare after the tea ceremony at his house. First thing is to eat tang yuan and then the removing of veil - these black & white shots are beautiful! :)

Our Jie-Mei shot - this is after I changed into my qipao for the tea ceremony part II.

Walking to our car to go back to my brother's place for tea ceremony part II

Love this shot of us! All the brothers did very well in the jump shots! hehe. and all the sisters are so chio.

Cruising the roads in our rented Audi TTS was a dream come true. Audi cars are really stable and don't feel as light as our Honda Civic.. I was waving my bouquet along the way but it was impossible to stand up on the seat in that big poufy gown.. haha! i think my hair will just 'chui' as the wind was pretty strong.

Another of the heart-warming moments my photographer captured. Super love this pic with Isaac.

The tea ceremony at my bro's place took longer than expected as we were waiting for all the relatives to arrive and I had to change back from the cheongsam to the white gown so we were slightly late for the solemnization at 11am. When we reached Crowne Plaza Hotel, Roland went to the poolside first with the rest of our family and friends. The funny thing was that my father and I were hiding at one corner waiting to be cued by someone to march in, but my dear emcees and the hotel coordinator were waiting for each party to cue. -_- so we stood there for awhile and the guests were all silent...

But when it was finally time to walk down the aisle with my father, i was sooooo nervous i didnt know where to look. The photographers and videographer said that i kept looking down at the floor as you can see from the pictures above! (act like shy bride?) My smile was so frozen LOL... Didnt help that there were some unexpected guests (R's relatives) so i felt like i was in foreign land... but i tried to focus on people i do recognise...it does help to have your friends there to smile and encourage you! It certainly wasnt like TV dramas when the camera focuses on the bride looking intensely at the groom... and the groom beaming like an idiot. haha. it was more step-by-step-看着办 to me.

Oh and our march in song for the solemnization is 最重要的决定 by 范围其.. Ultra love for this song.. ever since i saw her MTV and wedding clips... I just knew I would use this song somewhere in my wedding. The lyrics are very touching and meaningful. Although honestly on that day all the music seemed to become background music once I started walking down... too nervous i suppose!


我願意 每天在你身邊甦醒
就連吵架也很過癮 不會冷冰
因為真愛沒有輸贏 只有親密

Sadly our JP (Mr. Lee Ka But - he's a sweet old man who donated our angpow to Children Cancer Society on our behalf) disappointed us that day with his 'performance'.. He was asking Roland:

Will you, ___Roland____ take this woman ____Valerie___ to be your wedded wife, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, so long as you both shall live?

he stumbled and forgot the lines in blue, and there was an awkward pause of 5 seconds... eventually he just continued with "be faithful to her?" (his tone sounded like a question) and paused again and then handed the mike to Roland to answer.. both me and R were like 'omg..' inside us..

Then he proceeded to ask me a similar question, but he sounded as if he couldnt remember my name. i was holding my breath and finally let it out when he remembered. This time round he did said "so long as both shall live".

After we both said "yes I will", he told us to exchange rings and before i knew it he told roland that he may now kiss the bride. i was really puzzled at this point as I remembered during the meet-up prior to the wedding, we told him we had personal vows we wanted to recite, and he mentioned this would be done before exchanging rings and kissing the bride. I had no time to react cuz Roland then kissed me.. i then turned to the JP and told him we still had our personal vows. guess what he said? "oh, then you should have done so before the kiss..." like walaoeh, we waiting for your cues leh! So eventually he passed the mike to Roland and I..

My vow to Roland
You have been most patient, forgiving and comforting to me ever since we were just friends. You are the one I trust more than myself. And today, I marry you, my best friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, and love. Roland, I promise to be faithful to you, take care of you, encourage you, be patient and loving to you, and to grow old with you. I promise to always be honest with you, and share my dreams, my joys, or my sadness with you.

My dream is to have your kids, and build a warm loving home that you want to return to everyday. When we are old, and our children are grown, we will travel the world, visit the places we dream of, and call a dog our own.

You have given my past and future meaning. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife this very moment. I know I will be in good hands for the many days and years to come. I will love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

It was quite an intense moment for me but the JP's body language made me feel like i was too lengthy :( oh well, at least we got to say the vows. we were just disappointed as we had thought that the JP would be so familiar with the lines already having had solemnized so many weddings, or if he wasnt, would have prepared a script to ensure he doesnt slip.

The moment i said "I do!" and him putting the ring on my finger.

And the kiss <3

I like this picture... it speaks UNITY!

After the solemnization we took some shots as the pool side, and then it was time to catch the bouquet! dearest veron caught it (not like there was other contenders haha!). the photos below are so sweet!

meiho and emmy looking so happy in the background!! It's a very pretty photo of veron and me.. the flowers matched her top perfectly!! Get married soooooon lover! Be blessed with mintyvintage's bouquet. Love ya many many, and thanks for using this photo to make Christmas card for me!! yay!

Parting shots with intimates missing Jane!

And with the best jie-meis and xiong-dis we could ask for :)

A pity we didnt have more time to take individual shots, as we had to rush off for a third tea ceremony with other relatives. When that was surprisingly done within 15 minutes, I was so hungry already. We went for a quick ramen lunch at T3 and then back to hotel suite to remove makeup and rest. The suite was very big and luxurious, but now come to think of it I think i didnt take photos of it :(

Here are some photos we took in between of ourselves.

My wedding dress has a very pretty glittery (under light) tulle/mesh outer layer... though it is not the kind of dress i had envisioned myself wearing but i guess it was one of the better choices i had. Sometimes what you like may not be what suits you... all the lace gowns i wanted all looked weird on me! so A line and poufy turned out to be more suitable on my frame. I was close to selecting a mermaid one too...

Night wedding dinner

Moving on to the dinner at night... My makeup artist came around 4pm, and I was busy doing the makeup and hair while Roland and the brothers & sisters went ahead to prepare the ballroom and do last minute set-up/rehearsals. I really loved the hairdo that Keith did for me! It was so romantic and feminine! I could let it all down the back or twist it to one side. And it makes my usually thin and flat hair look voluminous!

Received lots of compliments for this hair-do as well! :) Looks like Godilocks right?

In my ombre evening dress with the hair-do.

After my makeup was done, I wore my qi-pao and went to the reception first because I wanted to spend more time with my friends who came early. Many of them were surprised to see me cuz' most brides usually only appear during the march-in for a surprise feel... but I don't find that meaningful. I rather spend that extra time (I got around 30-45 minutes!) talking to my friends and taking photos together than hiding in the room by myself - which will be more nerve wrecking too! Anyway it turned out to be a good idea cuz things weren't so rushed during the dinner and I got to spend more time with each guest. Around 8pm I went back up to change with the help of my jie-meis and leemei they all, into my white gown for the march in.

This hair-do gives a very different feel from the morning right! feels like princessy.
And random - but i like our vase with blue dye water and purple roses that i bought from Taobao and ikea to personalise the decor.

First march-in was filled with anxiety!!! It's like all eyes will be on you, so naturally I got quite nervous. When the time came again I couldn't even 'hear' the march in song - Canon in D - very clearly except for the starting 10-15secs as we were waiting for the right time to march in. I guess it could be because 1) I'm too distracted by seeing my friends and the long march in 2) the clapping covered 70% of the music 3) I'm out of this world literally in another space of happiness and disbelief. But now whenever I listen to any of my march in songs, i will still somehow be transpotted back to that magical day and smile to myself. :D

It is damn fun to have confetti all over you.

Cake cutting (fake cake lah)..

2nd March-in dress with my hair curled to the side and it looks more glam. Chose this yellow bling one with a sexy X back.... (to my horror, my photographer did not take photos of my back.. Faint!!!!) 2nd march in song was "A Thousand Years" not because I am a fan of Twilight but I like the starting part of the song... 

It is more pastel yellow than the bright yellow in the above pic (with flash)... i never thought i would wear a yellow dress (again, alot of things never go our way) but it all turned out well. i still look good right!!! Hahaha buey paiseh. Roland looks good in his vampire tuxedo suit too, and the glittery bow tie added some interest to the suit. I prefer him in black as always. The white suit makes him look very pale...

2nd march-in was alot alot more relaxing - just walking in and smile smile smile... my smile looks more natural here.

Yam seng time!! my dress makes me look very tall! (and my body very short haha)

After our speeches (which suprisingly i managed to deliver without crying), we went down to give our mums flowers.. that's when i couldnt control my tears.. even till today, when i see this picture and think back to that moment, I still get tears in my eyes.. if you notice my facial expression i was controlling like mad. My parents, being them, didn't reveal any tears throughout the day, or said much but i hope in their hearts they were touched by my thank you speech, and happy that their daughter was getting married. I wouldnt be me if not for them, and my little small heart cannot contain all the gratefulness i have thus it spills out from my eyes.

A hug to my father and I mumbled "我爱你"... who probably didnt know how better to respond, but i remember he patted my arm as if telling me 'it's ok'.... i am happy that these got captured on camera, cuz' i will have these moments to cherish forever...

Moving on to less emotional moments... here's a shot after I changed into my 2nd evening dress. The ombre shades are very pretty right - perfectly suits my purple-blue theme in mind.. Love the drapes and pleats too..

With the TPJC girls 10 years on... these girls go a long long way with me!

And one with my favourite intimates girls! next intimate wedding will be Yingtian's! can't wait.

My beautiful jie-meis, Jia'en, Constance, Sis, Shuen, and Wenxin

One with the bestie! <3 Thank you for everything and anything you will do for me.

The pretty guestbook that bestie customised and personalised for me!! super love it. going to display it in my new house next year :)


I'm still having post-wedding dreams though.
Last night I dreamt that the videographer didnt turn up at the wedding, and the whole event was in a mess.
Luckily in real life, the day went well and smoother than we could have asked for.

This post concludes the beautiful wedding i had. Even though there were a couple of things that didn't go the way I wished for (ie. i dont have any pics of my sexy back in the yellow evening dress, the solemnization process wasnt perfect..) i still thought that many many things went our way. And the photos turned out better than I could hope for (ie. not alot of fat faces and my makeup didnt look oily, etc). I was so thankful that day because the haze had somewhat disappeared and the weather was just perfect. no rain, nor too sunny. Heaven allowed me to have the pool side wedding I wanted to the man I dare not dream would be mine! :)

Really blessed. :) When things get tough, I will look back on this post and recall the vows and memories we created, this day


A can of mixed emotions

less than 3 weeks to go.
some sleepless nights.
some dreamy nights.

i am really excited.
it's hard to stay calm in my thoughts.
i can't wait our new life together.

at the same time, am utterly nervous.
need to look my best on that day!!
afterall, it is going to be the most significant day of our lives.
lots of photos will be taken.

also feeling sad that i'm 'leaving' my family/home of 27 years.
am entering a new and next phase of my life.

guo da li is this sunday. hope it will all be smooth.
can't wait for him to meet my 奶妈. i was really sad to know she and her family couldnt make it,
but i guess, alot of things are still remembered by the heart. ah-pek, can you see me from wherever you are?
your ying-ying (their nick for me) is getting married!! im sure you are smiling happily and will share my joy.
i miss you deeply... hear from me during the wedding speech ok?

an chuan is 1 day before the wedding.
isaac will come and jump and roll on the bed..
i dreamt we had a baby girl last night though... haha!

i hope we don't miss out anything during these remaining days, alot of last-minute things to attend to..
most importantly, i hope our guests will remember to turn-up, and less people telling us they last-minute cannot come. will upload the other photos after the wedding so as not to spoil the surprise :)

Gown Hunting

I am mad drowsy now but shall attempt to blog sense.
Anyway just drool at the pictures ok?

Every girl has their dream gown in mind. Be it ball gown, mermaid, lace or A-line.

For me, my dream gown has a bare back or low back. I find the back really sexy.
These are the type of designs I envisioned myself to wear for the big day.


If I couldn't have that I thought I would go for lace covered backs.
Lace is so dainty and feminine. (Veron will sooooo agree)

Or maybe thigh splitting A-line gowns.

Gown hunting is the BESSSSSSSSSSST part of the wedding prep. but it was also the most stressful part for me.
The wedding day will be the day when all your guests will focus on you! How to choose 1 special gown that you will feel absolutely ravishing in? I simply could not decide. The problem is, I find that the gowns in Singapore (or at least in my bridal vendor Rico-a-Mona and Di Gio) simply don't look like any of those above. The designs are very far from my envisioned ones, and sad to say, my photoshoot gown and AD gown are not backless, nor lace, nor thigh-splitting. Singapore brides too conservative is it?? I was really upset about not able to fulfill my dream... but I came to realise there is no such thing as "THE GOWN". Just like there is no "MR RIGHT". It is all about balancing the pros and cons. Some dresses I love the train, but not the top,some dresses I loved the top but the bottom didn't fit. You just have to choose the one that you feel the most right with, just like your husband.. HAHAHA.

I tried on countless of gowns, and realised that lace looks bad on me, somehow too mature. Perhaps it's the type of lace that was used, but they were not delicate french lace, more like embroidery lace. The patterns were less subtle than what I would have like. And somehow most lace pieces in Singapore had high collars which didn't suit me (i came to realise my neck is pretty short LOL). I don't fancy ball gowns so that is the last style I tried. I discovered that my love for ruffles and pleats extended to gowns! This was the gown I selected for my photoshoot - it remains the only gown that I really "love at first sight". I wanted to try it when I saw it hanging on the rack, and once I tried it, I felt good immediately and had this WOW feeling inside me. It is not "the gown" as it wasn't what I envisioned I would wear but it was certainly close to being perfect as I really like what I saw in the mirror.

soft and fluffy!!

I also realised I didnt like those "X X X" cross-tie back, as it was so darn troublesome to wear. The gown is already very heavy and difficult to get into, so I asked for dresses with zips instead!

Some home-made photoshoot the night before the actual shoot.

The bottom dress has a slightly low back with blings sewn on, but that was as close to backless
that the bridal shop had... #disappointing
I didnt wear this in the end for the shoot even though I brought it back home as I didn't feel good in it.

Here is how the front looked like. This gown is more grecian feel.

As for the actual day gown that I have chosen, I shall keep in suspense!! :)

It is beautiful in its own way, though doesnt conform to what I wanted at all..
Choosing the evening gown and cheongsam for tea ceremony was also another headache... sigh...
there were many choices and tons of colors, but realistically, I had to choose based on
1) what suits my body type
2) color
3) cutting and design
sadly what suitted me may not be what I like in cutting.
what i like didnt suit me...
basically I felt like I chose between the lesser of all the evils.
Oh well, i just hope i look good in them come that day! My itchy mind keeps thinking about retrying my gowns because I feel a little uncertain about my decisions.

My advice for brides to find the best gown you can:

1. Try plenty and plenty of gowns, even those that you don't fancy on first look.

Be open about different materials and cuttings. (mermaid actually flatters me)

sometimes it looks blah on the hanger, but WOW on you.
sometimes what is gorgeous on the hanger looks blah on you.

2. Know what your body type suits and steer away from unflattering styles.
for example, i have a small bust so sweetheart tube top or low cut styles are no-no for me.

3. Ask your bridal shop assistant for their honest recommendations and opinions.

usually they have tons of other gowns hidden, so letting them know what you like or dont like
will help them to bring out similar gowns for you to try.

4. Bring a girl friend and a pair of similar height heels that you would wear on that day.

(but not too many else there will be conflicting opinions as one man's meat is another man's poison)
Husbands-to-be are usually hopeless at giving opinions when it comes to crunch time.
the additional height also makes a difference to how you feel in the gowns. (stumpy vs elegant)

5. Take photos (sneakily if you have to) when you try the gowns.
this allows you to remember how you look in them and make a better decision at home if required.
This is important especially for photoshoot gowns, as some gowns look alright in real life only,

but they have details that look great on camera, ie. trains, blings etc.

For photoshoot, you can always go all out for those feathery, bling bling, sibei complicated gown designs
because these spice up the photos. Leave the simple cuts to the actual day!

Ending off with a drop-dead-gorgeous black gown from La Belle Couture, latest season.
I love their gowns alot actually but sadly they do not do rental of gowns only.
As my photoshoot package was with BryanJean, I could not use their services. :(

Enjoy the gown hunting because I already miss it..

Wish I can restart this process. LOL.
It is the most fun part!! :)

Will share some pre-wedding shoot photos soon.
#countingdown #rolandval

Nerve Wrecking Countdown - 38 days

"You are engaged. Your wedding day is fast approaching. You are excited, but you're also worried, anxious and scared. You are definitely glowing, though you're not sure if it is from joy or sweat.

It is impossible to know at the age of 20 or 30 or 40 how you will feel in 20 or 30 or 40 more years. Therefore, when you make the commitment to be with that same person for the rest of your life, it is scary. It is hard to know yourself so well, let alone how you will relate to another as time goes.

As the magical wedding celebration ends, it is only beginning for the couple.

Yet, if you trust that you are with someone you can speak with, someone who understands you, respects you, and shares the same vision with you, then, as scary as it is, you are doing it together. And knowing that you are not alone in this life-changing move, should be comforting and reassuring, though certainly won’t take away all the fear.

It is Hallmark, the photographers, the band, caterers and wedding hall that make us feel that the biggest part of marriage is the wedding itself. Somehow, that one day is made to be the focus and climax of all that is to come.

And because so many people are coming to celebrate with you, and these very same people have bought you expensive presents, it seems that for their sake everything is expected to be perfect. Needless to say, perfection is a pretty huge responsibility to be placed on two people that are about to make the biggest decision and commitment of their lives. But as the magical wedding celebration draws to a close, while it is the end for the guests, it is only the beginning for the couple.

The engagement period is a time of excitement. But more importantly, it is a time for preparation. And I don’t mean the preparations required to make the wedding. If anything, all these technical preparations can distract from the real work that needs to be done during this time. The engagement should be a time for self reflection, self-refinement and honesty, so that both bride and groom strive to become the best partner that they can be.

And though in our fairytale wedding story no one wants to face the reality, in truth it is a very difficult period, a pretty unsettling time filled with stress, responsibilities, and doubt. We are creatures of habit, not creatures of change, so it is only natural that something of this magnitude will be scary. Yet, when we ensure that we are thinking not only with our heart but also with our head, when we know that we are committing to a relationship with someone who shares the qualities, morals and direction that is important to us, then our fears are the normal fears that come with any new step in life.

So we must make sure that as we prepare for our wedding we take the time we need for ourselves. We must ensure that we are focusing on our personal learning, growth and development, not just taking the time for our pre-wedding parties, hair or clothes fittings. If we focus as much on our spiritual preparations as we do on the physical preparations, then we are laying the foundation for an enduring marriage, for a life of love, achievement and fulfillment--together."

Extracted from The Wedding Jitters

Recently, I have been feeling nervous every night, causing sleepless nights or bad sleep. The wedding is approaching fast and furious. I am excited, yet wish time could slow down. Its a mix ball of emotions. Ultimately it is the fear of the unknown future. As much as we are loving now, will we still be as loving 5, 10, 20 years and more down the road? will we still take the time to be together without the kids? how will kids change the dynamics of the relationship? will i, or will he change to be a stranger? It is this very fear that life and circumstances will change the very person we are now, today, and cause us to drift. I harbour no hopes that marriage is a happiness-only ideal, infact I expect it will be very trying, very arduous at times. I only hope at the end of every difficult period, we will still be hand in hand. There will be lots of exciting things to look forward to, like our new house (not looking forward to cleaning it though), our first baby, and all the new stuff to experience together in the next phase of life - bungee jumping?

The Wedding Journey

it's now or never!

I had a draft that i wrote since Feb 2012 about choosing the wedding dinner venue!!! I am restarting it here, the actual pricing info might be outdated but hopefully it may still be useful to BTBs when considering venues.

For memory sake I will just start with a little story.

We both knew we would get married on June 29, 2013.
6 months into the relationship, he 'proposed' the timeline that we would get engaged in our 2nd year and then get married in our 3rd year. I was very touched he showed such early commitment and to me that was as good as an unofficial proposal without the actual "Will you marry me?" question. And so the 3 year plan was a goal that we were working towards. We started a joint account in Jan 2011 and were saving up, but we didn't really knew the market rates for the vendors. Then I chanced upon a heart-shaped diamond ring in Oct 2011 in The New Paper, and it was love-at-first-sight. We checked it out at Love&Co, Vivo City and decided to buy that ring, it was a little impulsive and definitely very early, but I think we thought that it is never too early since we already had a definite date in mind, plus the ring would take a couple of months to be ready. I am very happy that I chose my own engagement ring, because the usual solitaire doesn't satisfy me! (As usual I don't like to have something that most other people have)

In January 2012, I started doing plenty of research to check and compare vendor rates so we could have a budget to work with. Before I knew it, we were receeing hotels in March 2012. It was early, but we wanted to find the dream venue for the dream date before we regret letting someone else book it. We found a place we both liked and made the booking in April 2012 (Crowne Plaza Hotel) as they had a wedding show and we found no reason to decline the package offered since our date was fixed. We also booked our photographer and videographer whom we met at another wedding show, and whose portfolio we love. So all these happened before he proposed. It may seem like I was crazy, but I was quite happy to decide on these vendors so early in the planning, and I think it actually helped as we didn't have to scramble around looking for these vendors after the actual proposal. Saved lots of headache as after the proposal happened, I was able to get right down to business, having already sorted out the major vendors.

Then our 2nd anniversary in June 2012 came and went, but he didn't propose. Of course that would be too cliche and unsurprising to propose on the anniversary day, but I wondered when it would happen. All other planning like gown trying was then put on hold because I felt he need to propose first!! And everyone who knew I am getting married often asked me to tell them about the proposal or show them the ring, which made it kind of awkward for me, as I had to explain I was planning my wedding without being officially engaged and with the ring.

It became a bit of a "arghhhh why is he making me wait soooo long?" grudge and as and when I will ask him whether he was going to propose, and when. This made it more difficult for him to surprise me as I didn't let down my guard. Then all the dates like his birthday, my birthday passed, and I was left thinking "what the hell" again. Many times I felt quite sad and pressured because I really wanted to restart the planning process proper but I felt like "No, I don't want to try on a gown without being officially engaged".

Well it turned out he wanted to propose in August, and then Nov, but both times I somehow 'spoilt' the plan by bringing work home, or being moody so he had to postpone. And the flowers he prepared had to be thrown away. :(

So finally the proposal happened on Dec 21 (there will be a cartoon love story on the wedding that depicts how it happened), and even though I still wish it could have happened earlier, I understand that it actually turned out for the better because by then I had already let my guard down (adopting a zen approach of "if it happens, it happens") and was truly taken aback by surprise. :) (Thanks again baby for making me wait so long!!)

Also the good thing about the way things happened is that I wouldn't be pressured to say Yes when he proposed, because I have had plenty of time to think through this decision and commitment. I do wish we had videos or better photographs of that special moment, but yet I am thankful that it was just the 2 of us, because that after-moment really feels alot alot more special than if friends were around to help record it. A moment to remember, literally.

Ok, so let's move on to the planning process and info

We looked at mostly banquets that require a low minimum of 20 tables for weekends because we thought we had very little people to invite (wrong! we almost bursted the maximum at one point). So if anyone is also planning a small banquet, I hope these would be helpful as a start. (Warning: do buffer at least 5 tables than what you think you have in the guest list)

Here are the hotels we've visited in alphabetical order -

*price per table is an estimate based on 2012-mid 2013 packages.

Amara Hotel

Coordinator: Violette was professional and warm. She treated us to tea and gave us complimentary parking.

Ballroom: Quite spacious for 25 tables, long march-in, carpet is kind of unique with words all over, beautiful fibre-optic ceiling panels that makes it look like stars, but can also be a little empty/plain if you don't have much decor, low ceiling. Prettier than in photos.

Perks: Gave us a few good perks without us asking. eg: waiver of corkage for unlimited bottles of wine that we bring in, free usage of soleminzation room, helper's room etc)

Others: Option to do a poolside soleminzation at $600++ extra. Near Tanjong Pagar MRT, convenient for guests.

Didn't like: Amara hotel is 4-stars only and doesn't feel as new/grand as the other hotels. There's renovation going on now to link the hotel to a new mall beside it. Dusty and noisy when we visited. [Update: the new 10am mall is up and pretty convenient now!!)

The way leading to the ballroom was quite indirect, guests may need to ask for directions. You may also have to share the recep area with others who are having functions in the other rooms, and the main ballroom door seemed more like a side door instead (at a corner).

Per table: $928++ for weekends

Worth checking Amara Hotel out for the pretty & spacious ballroom and affordable price.

Carlton Hotel

Coordinator: Feel that Joanna was abit disorganised and appeared to be in a rush. Although friendly but not really someone we feel we could trust to manage our expectations. No drinks provided but she did direct us to her staff to get free parking ticket from the recep.

Ballroom: Empress Ballroom 4&5 which is their new ballroom is pretty but the layout makes the tables very cramped and near one another. Empress 1,2&3 looks similar but they have a few block pillars which can be a little in the way of some guests. High ceiling but not vowed by the layout. Also don't feel it's worth to have to pay $30 more per table to use the newer ballroom.

Perks: The most "ngiao" (stingy) hotel because they only give you additional perks if you book a minimum of 28 tables for weekends or 25 tables for weekdays (strange cuz' weekends get less benefits at the cost of more tables). If you take less than that, no nego for perks. Upon hearing this, in my mind already strike out this hotel. Mind you, their perks are just the normal ones that ALL the other hotels i visited threw in for free. ie. additional 10% wedding cards and carkpark passes. and complimentary food tasting is not even given!!! -_-

Others: Lobby and main hotel area very new and posh. Location is central and easy to reach via MRT.

Didn't like: Said everything above

Per table: $978-$1008++ for weekends

Basically Carlton Hotel didn't need our business. Don't see any incentives to sign up at all.

Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel

Coordinator: It was their 2012 wedding show we went to, so no specific coordinator that we spoke with.

Ballroom: I remember they had a few ballrooms, but only the biggest one looked spacious and airy while the rest were more like function rooms. The Grand Ballroom's ceiling is quite high (6m) and looked quite new. They have different minimum seating for different ballrooms. The Waterfront Ballroom was the one we considered with Minimum 22 tables & Maximum 28 tables. Good thing about the hotel is the beautiful outdoor wedding chapel that is suitable for solemnisation. The chapel is however located right at the drive-in area, quite weird.

Perks: No free food tasting (have to pay 50%), the others were standard throw-ins

Didn't like:
Location is definitely poor as it is not near MRT. Its carpark was very shabby and dirty looking and was linked to a mall that looks run-down. Doesn't feel grand.

Per table: S$1,318.00 nett, which was abit too high for the location in my opinion

Not in our eventual consideration as it's price point did not match with our expectations.

Fairmont and Swissotel

Coordinator: Wendy, a middle-aged lady was very warm and friendly, and even slightly motherly. She was not pushy but quite humorous and explained the packages in detail to us.

Ballroom: Similarly they had a couple of ballrooms which you can use depending on your table requirement, and if I do not recall wrongly, there are no restrictions whether you book through Fairmont or Swissotel on the usage. The Atrium ballroom fitted our criteria of min 20, max 30 tables, however it was not high ceiling and some views would be obstructed due to the pillars.

Perks: Stunning ice sculpture provided at the reception decked with fruits, along with the usual free carpark coupons, free 6 btl of wine with every 20 tables, free barrel of beer etc

Location is good as it's just above Raffles City SC and City Hall MRT. However with the multiple ballrooms and the fact that it is joined to the shopping centre means that it can get a little confusing and difficult to locate the correct ballroom as there would be a few weddings on weekends.

Per table: S$1098++ for Sundays, and $1138++ for Saturdays

It was one of our shortlisted hotels for the good branding, central and accessible location and affordable packages.

Hotel Re!

Coordinator: No particular person as we attended their wedding show. We actually went there because there were a few other vendors we were interested in (Ichiro Films, La Belle Couture, Bryan Jean Photography, which we actually signed up 2 out of 3 packages there and then).

Ballroom: Ballroom was alright, even though the ceiling was not high, they didnt have any pillars. What was interesting was that they had some pretty unique themes like "Starry Starry Night", "Fairytale" etc, and each theme was quite elaborate and colorful (at additional cost but are quite suitable for brides who want fancy themes!).

The ballroom is inside (looks like restaurant to me) and you can do the solemnization outside at the carpark area.

Strangely at the wedding show, the models even kissed when they went on stage.
(Maybe they were a real couple?!) haha!

Perks: Can't remember honestly, since we were not looking into details

Didn't like:
Right next to CTE and the drive-in to the hotel is easy to miss, as it is kind of situated on a slope. We missed it and had to drive for another 10 minutes to find a U-turn. Nearest MRT is Outram and then it's alot of walking (if you can even find your way). Apparently they do provide shuttle bus services from a few locations - that tells you how accessible it really is. :P It also looks very like a HDB flat rather than a hotel. My guess is that it's established as a boutique hotel.

Per table: $988++ to $1138++ depending on package

Not shortlisted because we were not comfortable that it was not an 'established' hotel brand, and the price range is a little high. It's unique though if you fancy those strong themes - which I did not care for.

I shall continue with the videographers and photographers that we researched on in another post! :)


I thought i would be the kind to blog about everything on wedding preps. maybe i would have, if it wasn't due to the laziness in me, and the lack of time. Plus the endless procrastination that i will do it the 'next' week.

And one day, just a usual routine day, it suddenly hits me how close we are to the actual day, and if i realised if i don't write it now, the 'next' week might end up to be the week after the wedding, before i know it..

So here i am, hoping to capture some happenings and thoughts before it's too late. And yes, i also installed a Countdown app on my iphone so i realise the urgency of not procrasting further in the preps.

I will start off with February, the short 28 days filled with lots of memories and happy times.

the last single cny - 15 days passed so quickly, i remember how much i was looking forward to the reunion dinner. my last one with my family. receiving my last angpow from my dad, and the bigger angpows from my in-laws-to-be. And sadly this year we didn't go to Malacca. I wonder when is the next time i'll get the chance to... sigh. let's skip this depressing thought.

the next big thing was the Hong Kong trip. Oh my, i came back with history reinvented, and HK will never be the same for me again, in a good way this time. The first time i visited HK was with an ex, the 2nd time (and previous time) was with another ex. My mum then commented before that HK seems to be a doom place for my relationship, and for that reason i never considered asking Roland to go HK with me, just in case you know. So it was decided that it would be a trip with me and wenxin only, and of course the intimates who were also there for the Standchart run. Naturally i expected i would have lots of good memories from this trip, being my first solo trip with wx.. however i was really in for a biggggggg surprise. One that i still marvel at now, and thinking about it just touches my heart in ways that i can't describe. I think it's one of the biggest things ever that any friend(s) have done for me, and i will always remember this super sweet gesture and huge huge effort.

so here's how it unraveled:
Shortly after boarding our Tiger airways flight, I caught a glimpse of someone familar and was about to tell wenxin "Eh that looks like shuenyun", when, wait a minute, THAT IS HER WHAT?!! the oblivious me shouted "OMG shuen what r you doing here?!!" and shuen acted surprised too and I was almost fooled by her reaction until i saw a very nonchalent looking jiaen behind her... (apparently en also acted but she said by the time i looked over, her reaction 'ended' LOL).. they sat a couple of seats away and i was so puzzled and reeling frm the shock of seeing my gd friends on the same flight. wx then said they were going to HK to visit "Ann", their friend and kept it from me so I wouldn't be sad that they are not coming with me. I found it strange that wx would know this if that was really the true story, but i decided not to probe (since she won't tell me anything!) and just observe more later. at the back of my mind, a little voice shouted "maybe they are here for YOU!" i started feeling quite emotional...but i muted it, just incase it really was a coincidence rather than the consipracy i thought.
Upon landing at HK airport, i was walking out quickly and wx asked me "dont you want to wait for them?" and i said "but they are here for "Ann"!" That's when i decided to play along and see how it goes. Hehe. by then, i recalled how Shuen even asked me to buy things for her at DFS before the trip.. doesnt make sense that she would ask me this if she's already travelling herself! I started to think that this was some gigantic surprise that they planned but still Shuen told me the hotel name and that they would be staying in Mongkok.. But later she said that they are coming to our hotel first before going to meet "Ann".. In my mind I was like "yeah right..." And so we boarded the taxi together, the 4 of us to Cosmo hotel, where me and wx were supposed to stay.

When Shuen and En checked in after we reached Cosmo, i knew i was right. :) I then teased shuen, saying "Eh i thought your hotel is in mongkok??!" hahaha... we got connecting rooms and then finally wx told me that they had this planned for months already and they even signed up for the run (except shuen who couldn't get a slot) intending to run with me. Honestly i didn't know my emotions at that time, it was more dumbfounded, like wow... just feeling shell shocked. but deep down i was very very happy, very very touched.
I think part of the shock comes from the fact that i can't believe wx hid this so well, and so did the girls... and i was also reeling in the fact that roland knew!! and infact he was the one who booked the run for all of us. -_- A very well-planned surprise, something i won't even dream of.

The trip was nothing short of awesome, it's the first time we travelled together and this year also marks the 10th year of our friendship since our JC days. We had the best wanton mee and roasted goose in Central, shopped until i literally had to borrow from everyone, and most importantly, spent good quality + quantity time together. (the last time we had soooo much time together, seeing one another everyday was of course back in school). I really heart these girls and though we may not be able to meet up so often in singapore, but the very fact that they took time off their work and personal life to plan this surprise and eventually fulfill it is just a priceless gift to me. I'm very thankful and awed. and the weather was just so perfect for coats and boots. (how i miss the 16 degrees now!)

They also took me on a hens-night together with the intimates girlfriends and though it was a mild quiet affair at a pub, but it is more than i can ask for - yes, shower cap veil included. :P (i'm not the kind who likes wild hen nights anyway..)

Spending those short 3 days 3 nights with my dearest wx, shuen and en has changed memories of HK for me. HK used to be associated with ex boyfriends (negativity) but now, its meaning is very different for me thanks to them. And because of this, I feel like it's ok for me and roland to visit HK next year. hehe! And that's why HK is very special for me now, it marks the first country we visit together!!! it's amazing how perspective of a place changes along with the people whom you go with... We are hoping that we will be able to visit more countries together next time, perhaps taiwan!

Of course, this trip was also very precious because of my 1st overseas run and my 1st 10km run. It's an accomplishment for me and I am actually kind of considering joining the run again next year. 10km doesnt seem as hard as it used to sound to my ears, seems like i am a changed person! HAHA... (2.4km used to be daunting to me, ok?) I still am not a fan of running but i join runs to collect medals and for that sense of satisfaction when i run across the finish line. This time, i ran the 10km mostly alone. Unlike in Singapore where roland was always there to pace me for 9km brook run and 6km zoo run... and despite tripping and falling (my right knee hasnt fully recovered yet, kneeling for yoga is no-no) i am so glad i completed my first 10km well within my expected timing (ard 1 hour 24mins). I also want to thank wenxin for planning everything and for agreeing to go for the run with me without hesitation. aren't you glad??!! i'm sad that we didnt get any medals though.. especially when it's your first paid-for run! boo... but we did receive a souvenir medallion so i shall treat that as part of my medal collection anyway!

pictures definitely speak a thousand more words but i know that one day i will want to look back here and see an entry about this awesome, awesome, awesome surprise that these girls planned for me. I love you all!!!!! muacks. THANK YOU for making this possible, i will always hold dear to my heart these memories. <3<3<3

thinking of going back again for the run next year with roland!!

a very mild boring hen's night, just the way i am LOL

with all the lovelies in my life

tpjc girls 10 years later!!

happy memories forever

my favourite food from the trip. ahhhh i always salivate when i look at that roasted goose!!

and the wanton mee!!!! the scrambled eggs!!!!!!! can i fly there now.

and a reminder to never ever bring that SMALL red luggage overseas.
i had to borrow luggage space from everyone and handcarry alot. :(
en had the last laugh cuz she brought along a HUGE luggage case, but turns out to be so useful!

see you next year, Causeway Bay!

In February I also coughed up a large amount of money 4-digit (actually roland lent me lah) to take up an Internet marketing course from my hall-mate Ivan, who has been doing this business with lots of success since I knew him in 2006 or 2007... Hmm, it was an eye-opener. I spent lots more money since then trying to understand this affiliate marketing and how it work, but I see it as an investment. However I have put it on hold for now because I was feeling burnt out with all the late nights working on it plus wedding preps. Decided i will spend more time & energy on it after the wedding and give it the attention it needs.

I was juggling everything by giving each matter 20% of my time and effort.

But now I just want to give something my 100%.

Will I regret spending this money? No, it's money spent for a purpose. Maybe I will never recoup the amount but I wouldnt know if I never ever try right? Since I am still young, and have no family committments, I think it's still ok to spend a little money upgrading myself with new knowledge. I also paid and went for a 2 day seminar last weekend hosted by Daegan Smith, a top Internet Marketer and Guru. Even though I think I am not of the right calibre to fully understand what he was saying, but I truly respect people like him who give their everything, passion, money and time to make what they believe in a success. He is now a multi millionaire yet still a down-to-earth man who wears Superman and Batman tees and jeans rather than a suit to give the seminar.

One thing I have learnt definitely is how consumer behavior is so different just between USA and Singapore. Those emails we always thought was junk, spam, malicious in nature are real money-making emails. And it seems like the fancy, neat, simple landing pages I was taught to create in school are not what pulls in traffic in USA. Americans seem to like wordy, never-ending-scrolling type of landing pages. Those pages with big and red "CLICK HERE TO BUY THE EBOOK. LIMITED TIME ONLY FOR USD97" are real.

Not someone trying to cheat your money. lol.

That about sums up my very hectic and memorable Februrary.

I will blog about the wedding prepartions and photoshoot next.
and i need to release all the pent-up feelings as we are only 59 days away to the wedding!

and oh ya - i started this entry in March... now it's close to May. omg myself.
never too late right :)

REVIEW: Enavose's Cellogist Neck Lift Cream

I was sent the Enavose's new neck lift cream before Chinese New Year! How timely, since one of my new year resolutions was to care more for my neck.

The good:
The parcel came in the usual box, this time wrapped with a thoughtful Pashima shawl that I could totally reuse and a personalised handwritten note. Enavose certainly knows how to delight their customers :)

The bad:
Due to the long holidays for CNY and all the preparations, I wasn't able to rip open the parcel until almost a week later. And this meant that the initial plan to surprise me with fresh orchids turned into a very unpleasant, rotting affair with mould and all. (trust me, you wouldn't want to be there when I opened it) I think they should have considered the CNY holidays or at least alert with a "Open immediately" kind of notice to avoid such a situation.

Now, moving on to the actual product
- Based on the Nobel Prize-winning discovery of Telomere
- Comes with the same airless jar mechanism which I am thankful for! (no bacteria or having your fingernails scoop the cream instead of your fingers)
- Meant for toning, firming and tightening of the neck line and improves the appearance of wrinkles and lines
- Hydrates and protects

My review of Enavose's Cellogist Neck Lift Cream
- It smells like mochi!! (or maybe i am crazy) but point is it smells nice, nothing too strong, just a pleasant smell and it disappears after a while
- I love the texture; it's non-greasy and very easily massaged/absorbed into the skin even though it is a cream (as compared to La Mer, which is like some very thick glob!)
- Feels light on the skin and non sticky

- One to two light pumps will cover the entire neck area, so this jar will go a long way!!

I have only been using this for a week and even for the long-term I am not sure whether results will be seen. As you know, the neck is often 'abused' with all our tugging movements and neglience to it. I see this cream as more preventive rather than a cure to remove those lines. Maybe in my 50s, that's when I will know whether whatever skin routine I am practising now helps or not. :D

The Cellogist Neck Lift Cream is a nice to have, but it does not come cheap. Retails at S$99.50, but you can get it now at a promotional price of S$69.00 until end of this month. The price does really makes me @_@ but I am hoping it is "you get what you pay for". However it is not often we come across a product that specifically targets the neck, so if you really have serious 'turkey neck', then why not give this product a try? In my opinion, it's more suitable for those who are looking to extend their beauty routine, rather than those who are just starting out with skincare.

Visit Enavose's facebook here or website here for more details! You can also purchase or try it at
Main store: Suntec City Mall, Tower 3, #02-079/081 or
Counter: Tangs, VivoCity Beauty Hall

Overall: 3/5 because of the price tag

Thank you Enavose (Dorothy) for sending me for review. :)

I'm on my way to fulfilling my new year resolution.

And it all comes together...

In 2013, I resolve to...

1. reach a stable 5 figure in personal savings (hope this will still be possible after spending on wedding + honeymoon)

2. run once a month and yoga once a week (i am still not the biggest fan of running on my free will so...)

3. join 5 runs (and collect 5 more medals!)

4. moisture my neck and mask weekly (now that i'm getting closer to the big 3-0, it's vital to protect the neck!)

5. learn a new language - korean (technically not new for me, but the fun is re-learning it with roland)

6. keep to $150 shopping per month ('pay myself first' rule)

Somehow the first month of 2013 passed so quickly. it felt like just yesterday that we were celebrating Christmas and it's already Chinese Near Year in a couple days' time. i hadnt been looking forward to this year's CNY because it is going to be the last year I will spend it with my own family. The last year I will spend it with them in Malaysia, like I have been doing for the past 20-over years. It just feels weird, even though there will be plenty of time until the next CNY to adjust to the idea. or maybe i will never adjust to this idea until it actually happens.

CNY in my family is different from most families. We don't go to our relatives' house to 拜年 individually. We just plonk ourselves in my grandmother's house and everyone will be there for us to 拜年 to. During the recent years, we have been spending it in Malacca, like tourists, before going back to my grandmother's house for a customary visit. I don't拜年 with my father's side relatives in Singapore, but they will still pass us angpows. It's just the way it goes in my family. Come next year, these habits and traditions will change for me. I will not even get the chance to 拜年 to my own parents, instead it will be with his parents. I will have to go to his aunts and uncles' houses, something i am quite sure I will feel very not used to. How do I adapt to a new routine after so many years? (big question mark)

And I am also feeling very sad because I LOVE LOVE LOVE the CNY FEAST my mum prepares every year. Steamboat + BBQ, omgwtfbbq. It is the BOMB, lots of butter and pork and prawns and abalone and my favourite dang-oh! And the pre-preparations to the actual dinner. Because I'm getting married (out), I won't be able to partake in these anymore. I will be having my reunion dinner with his family first, and it will be a different dinner (no two mums cook the same right!). Not saying the dinner his mum prepares is not tasty, but it is not the same. There will not be my dang-oh, or the usual ingredients, because different families have different food habits. ie. fish dish is a must-have with my father, but his family hardly orders/cooks fish. I know, it's just changes and I will adapt to them eventually. But I just feel like emo-ing.

Nowadays I try to cherish the days I get to spend with my family, enjoy the walk to the bus-stop, relish the freedom to wake up/sleep by myself, or simply spending time at home. Little things that i have taken for granted in the past, but will change soon. It's 142 days more of walking alone. Don't think that I am dreading getting married, I am just afraid of the changes to the living habits and patterns that I am used to. I am actually looking very forward to our wedding, or rather our marriage. I count down to the days when I will finally get to wake up beside him (and it's not just a stayover), and to spend each day with him. Even though we do simple things, his company is more than enough for me. It is just a sense of support and stability that I crave.

Along our journey, there are some friends who ask me/him "Why do we meet (almost) everyday?" - especially since we are getting married soon, shouldn't we enjoy our singlehood and freedom now, 还怕没有机会吗?

My thinking is simple:

if we don't spend everyday together, how do we know if we can stand each other everyday after marriage?

if we can't stand to see each other everyday now, why would we even want to get married?

and lastly, life is fragile, 我就是怕失去机会。。。

So no, I am not embarrassed to admit I see my boyfriend (fiancé) and have dinner tog almost everyday, unless both of us are busy meeting friends. Infact, I look forward to each occasion. I'm very thankful for this friendship-turned-relationship and I'm very grateful to friends who have been supporting us and our wedding. Especially happy when some of my old friends from primary and secondary school RSVP-ed and messaged me privately to say they will be attending. These are people whom I haven't seen for 5-10 years, but deep down their coming meant alot to me, that our friendship memories stayed in their hearts. They care enough and they bother to come. True friends will be happy for us, I know.

It is still surreal that I am moving to the next phase of life. I don't know exactly how that will feel, but I know many things will surely change in my life. I wonder how things at home will be like. This is also my first time moving out of my house, if you exclude living in hall 12. Alot of things to move but there's not enough space in his room. :D

I get mental images sometimes, of the actual day, of me walking down the aisle, of the veil over my head, of the excitment, the nervousness, and the huge 'omg-it's over' disbelief.

I feel suddenly so grown-up. It's like, I could be a mother anytime.

Enough rambling for today.